No Mind, Doesn’t Mind

Nonhuman friends like the Coast Redwoods, Sequoia sempervirens, know how to drink the darkness of fog to make for us small creatures -a breath of amazement- dappled sunlight higher above us than any other creature’s making. They do not mind who walks below them, or what goes on in our human minds with such heaviness. Sequoia sempervirens does not mind, nor has care of mind, nor thinks in the worries of mammalian minds at all. No mind, doesn’t mind.

Obituary for Pamela Sue Valett

Beloved daughter, sister, mother, and friend, Pam will be sorely missed.  

She was born on October 28, 1954, in Sacramento, CA, and passed away peacefully on December 4, 2018 in Fresno, CA, under hospice care after a long battle with cancer.  She graduated from Bullard High School in Fresno, CA, and, as a youth, enjoyed gymnastics and cheer leading, and developed the strong work ethic she carried with her for the rest of her life.

Pam served her community as a volunteer, participated in church committees, taught Sunday school, and worked as a professional Administrative Assistant for many years in the legal and medical fields.

Pam loved her family and friends, the Sierra Nevada mountains and California coast, enjoyed her pets, loved concerts and music festivals, and poetry by Robert Frost. She was delighted at the birth of her daughter, Amber, and remained close to her parents her whole life.

Pam was preceded in death by her father, Robert Valett; and two brothers Eric Valett and Steven Valett. She is survived by her daughter, Amber Valett of Sammamish, WA and the Fresno-Sierras region; her mother, Shirley Valett of Fresno, CA; her two brothers John Valett of Rocklin, CA, and Lawrence Valett of Mt. Airy, MD; and five nieces and nephews.

A Memorial Service will be held at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Fresno at 2672 E Alluvial Ave, Fresno, CA, on December 30th, 2018 at 1:30pm.

In lieu of flowers, remembrances may be made to the Unitarian Universalist Church of Fresno, the San Joaquin River Parkway and Conservation Trust, or the Yosemite Conservancy.

My Mommy Died Last Night

My mommy died last night and I’m grieving. She had cancer and she decided to end it with physician assisted euthanasia. I didn’t know if she’d actually do it, didn’t know if it would be real, how real it would suddenly be. She suffered from a severe and untreated personality disorder for many years that made it painful or impossible to be close to her as I gradually grew up. This loss is hard because I am mourning the comforting and loving mama I had when I was very little, in my earliest memories. In a way, I lost her many years ago to her mental illness and inability to get help, but I always hoped I might find my mommy again with a clear mind. I am grieving the loss of happiness she felt for so much of her adult life due to mental illness. I didn’t know I would cry so much, realizing that my mommy will never wake up again, that the arms that carried and cuddled my tiny self will never comfort me again.